My Mom died.
It’s the phrase that keeps turning around in my head all day, every day, since last Saturday. My Mom died. It’s surreal. Unbelievable. My Mom died. I still don’t think it’s something I fully accept. I can never hold her hand again. I can never give her another hug, another kiss. I can never hear her voice in person…telling me she loves me. My Mom died.
Nothing in my life has ever hurt this much. There’s nothing you can do to prepare yourself for the intense grief. It feels sometimes as though all the breath is sucked out of me and I can’t breathe. Sometimes it feels like it’s going to kill me.
Oh god, I miss her.
My Mom holding my hand shortly after I gave birth:
Holding my Mom’s hand shortly before she left us: